I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
