would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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