Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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