false alarm. still invincible.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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