I want to have your abortion
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize