that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
