i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
