Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize