You work out of a Hotel?
4 words: hood of his car
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize