i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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