i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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