she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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