I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
