you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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