Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
