I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
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