i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
