i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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