I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
