Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Found the puke drawer
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
