He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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