we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
