K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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