He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
