I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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