hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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