just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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