This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
