Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
