i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
