one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
