I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
