dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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