At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
