I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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