I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
