In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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