if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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