My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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