there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
