So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
