i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
