But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
