Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
