i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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