He asked to "fluff my boner.."
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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