Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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