I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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