just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
