evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
