Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
