If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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