My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
