Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
