I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
