Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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