is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
