Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
