I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
