You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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