Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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