Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
