so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
smell my finger.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
The Olympian is in my bed
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
