a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
