Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
