dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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