Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
