she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
either way he was missing a nipple.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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