Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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