omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
